Monday, September 14, 2015

September 14, 2015 - Elder Biehn's Weekly Update

Hey everybody!

Have you ever had one of those weeks where you feel like you didn't do anything, but you look back and you were actually pretty successful? Well, it was one of those weeks for me. I honestly feel like I didn't get much accomplished over this past week, but when we reported on the lessons that we had this week I saw that we did pretty good. We only got shut out on Saturday, only because all of our plans somehow fell through. I was kinda upset at that because we had Saturday scheduled to be a great day with a lot of lessons and staying busy. Obviously things don't ever go as planned and no one answered their door or phone. On the bright side, we had at least one lesson every day this past week which is good for this area. Over the past month it has been really scattered and we would go days without having a lesson. Thankfully things are turning around. Speaking of which, the end of the transfer is coming up and my district leader is going home. So I'm going to be getting a new district leader pretty soon and there will be a new face in our district. I don't expect anything to change for me and Elder Mortimer, but anything can happen.

I actually have two funny stories for you this week. The first one is just ridiculous. So, me and Elder Mortimer walk into a CVS because it's the afternoon and we didn't have anything planned so we figured we would try and get some errands done. No big deal. Well, we walk in and are looking for the stuff we need when this guy walks up to and asks us how we are doing. Right when he started talking the spirit instantly left, and was left there thinking, 'Oh boy, here we go.' And I was exactly right. Instantly he tries to start bible bashing us, but it wasn't really bible bashing at all. He just pulled out some random scripture from Revelations and used that as his basis for everything! That was the only scripture that he used, the rest of it was all conspiracy theories. He used it as a basis to try and tell us that Obama was the antichrist, The devil mimics God (which is why we were being tricked by the devil), the government is going to kill all the Christians, they will hide all the bodies (he tried telling us that they are going to do a mass grave and puts all the bodies into containers. He pulls up a picture of these big containers and tells us that they will shove 4 bodies into each of them. I instantly shut him down there because I knew exactly what those containers were. I told him, "You're lying. I know exactly what those containers are used for. Those are industrial sized containers and they are used by basically every single warehouse and construction site in America." He changed the subject right after I said that.), then the government will put trackers in everybody, basically the holocaust for Christians. He then pulled up a dollar bill and started going into Illuminati, that where I called it and I was done with him.  The best part of the whole thing was at one point we were talking about the spirit and how we can talk with God. He says, "What does the spirit tell you about me? It probably says that I'm full of crap." Then Elder Mortimer spits back at him, "Well, I don't need the spirit to tell me that!" Funniest. Thing. Ever.

The next story is when me and Elder Mortimer finished dinner with a member and we head back to the car. We were talking for a little bit and for some reason I got in the car and forgot I needed to back him up. (It's a rule for us that while the driver is in reverse, the companion needs to be outside the car backing him up. Makes sense but it's just annoying.) So I get back out and start walking to the back of the car when I hear Elder Mortimer. I look through the the back window and he is screaming and flailing his arms around! I run up to the window and his eyes are huge and he nearly had a heart attack. He tells me, "You were sitting on a Yellow Jacket!" Apparently it somehow got underneath me when I was sitting down. When I got out, it was still there and Elder Mortimer heard some buzzing. He saw it on the seat and was watching it twitch. It suddenly starts flying around and heads straight for his face! Elder Mortimer was already strapped in by his seat belt, couldn't go anywhere, and he couldn't find anything to smack it with. That's why he started screaming and flailing his arms. Luckily he got the window down and swooshed it outside before it stung him, cause this guy was mad! I'm just glad that this thing didn't sting my butt while I was sitting on it!

Well, adding to the list of stories that has happened on my mission. I now have two more funny ones!

Elder Biehn